“What do you want?”

“what do you want? 

I want a life that’s worth living 

without a need to turn around 

just to say, well damn.

I could’ve treated you better

If i held you that night 

would it have made a difference 

probably, a life without regrets-

“don’t regret anything you do”

you tell me with a kiss goodbye 

and it’s just one of those nights 

when you used to be fifteen and you look back 

the sun hits you right in the eye, you’re twenty one

now you get it, I understand now

“what do you want?”

I want a lover that will tell me no 

so that I can respect it 

no means no means no means no

I want a lover that doesn’t force 

hearts to beat where they shouldn’t 

I want a lover that counts the stars 

backwards by thousands 

every night just to say

“shit I almost guessed it right this time” 

kiss me slow, kiss me slow

let’s save this moment 

like old nintendo games 

and we were too broke 

to afford a memory card 

so we played it every morning

just to beat it in one try

you grow up too quick 

you used to be seven and 

now you’re twenty one and 

you’re still worrying 

about if you said something wrong 

or if it was offensive 

or if you are liked 

or if you are loved 

“what do you want?”

I want to be like the greats 

that came before,

as a matter of fact 

I want to be greater

than the greats- 

I want to be the best version of myself by following inspiration 

into the sea where I can see

into hearts where I’ll make art 

into the soul

into the emotions where oceans dry 

into teardrops 

“what do you want?” 

I want poetry to be written for me 

when i don’t ask, leave it everywhere 

inside my back pockets

and find you there-

read every word 

save you into this moment 

love me when, love me then

love me back, love me now

love me always

keep me inside your ink 

bleeding deep into your pores 

regrets as tattoos

leave the words you can’t say in person 

leave the words under your tongue 

leave the words trapped in your throat

hope finally finds an escape

hope finally makes it home

hope is finally seen

fairy dust, stardust

moon dust, ash

dragonfire, wildfire- 

we burn the same 

“what do you want?” 

I want an alarm for every flower 

that’s dying right now 

so that I at least have a reason 

for why i can’t sleep 

“what do you want?”

I want to know why we look

for each other when we’re away

I want to know why we look

for each other when we’re together

I want to know why we look 

for reasons to blame each other 

i want to know why we look 

for reasons as to why we hate each other 

i want to know so much about you

even though we are just strangers

“what do you want?” 

i want to teach my sons 

that a woman’s body is hers

and hers alone, so respect it 

I want to teach my daughters 

don’t waste your time on any man

who doesn’t deserve your worth

Do you think angels give us signs? 

What about God?

Is this a sign?

or is it just time?

Do we all end up sad and alone? 

“what do you want”?

slowly, with less poetry

more eye contact, less texting 

more voice recognition 

talk to me like I’m deaf 

sign language 

your screams

how come you never listen to me 

I hate you. i hate you

love her like she’s blind, 

show up everyday with flowers

even if she hates them,

she will love them

“what do you want?”

sometimes i wish i didn’t have to write so much

the thing about love is-

for every sentence, i remember the passionate 

fibers put into each letter, if the word love 

has four letters 

each one had a meaning 

L stands for lasting, things don’t last

O stands for one, one mistake 

V stands for very

very much on my mind

like sands that fall in an hourglass-

drop by drop, we’re faded

but like all the stories, the book has a last page 

The youth remembers E

e for euphoria 

e for empty 

e for everything

e for empty 

e for etchings 

e for eternity 

we remember the ways 

to count backwards 

for every star there’s a dark passage 

that we can’t return to 

and we won’t 

“what do you want?”

I want to write it all out 

I want to write it all down 

I want my thoughts to be 

how can I be a better person?

by being a better person

“what do you want?”

I just want this to make sense to someone 

Am i making any sense?

jumbled poetry

no rhythm,

no rhymes 

no schemes 

no iambic pentameter 

no lyrics 

no style 

no structure

just everywhere

like the sound of a heart

removed from a chest

that has been poisoned 

because being sick 

makes a broken person 

feel like an indention 

inside of a paragraph 

like a doggy eared page 

because love makes us feel 

this chaos that’s light enough

to drown out the sun

because love makes us crazy 

back to the start again

because love makes us contemplate the stars 

and how the universe made us into this

because love makes us angry

while simultaneously 

forcing us into constant laughter

you do something wrong 

learn how to do it right

and in truth, there’s never black and white 

its all about compromise 

and we always learn things

a little too late,

you can only dwell on it 

so i’ve been dwelling 

“what do you want?”

i want happiness

i want to be poetry 

like a link that ties

my past to a red kite 

fly it real high, 

electrocute my lies 

into soft butterfly truths

turn the ocean into a huge glass of wine 

baby, i’ll have two

one for my apologies 

and another for not loving you right. 

let’s kiss in the rain 

to the person i haven’t met yet 

and this is a little long 

and this may hurt to read

but if you’re reading this 

and i’m asleep 

right next to you someday

and you realize that i have a strange philosophy 

on love, love to me?

every person that i’ve 

felt full and empty for,

the people i have fallen for,

i still love them,

all of them

every bit of who i am 

shaped by who i should’ve been 

every bit of after all this time 

always a thousand times 

every single dozen of roses 

bought from the very 

first moment valentine’s day,

was invented,

i will be enough to love you,

even if i get sad from time to time-

and one day, on that day,

when i wake up 

and you’re reading this 

and I’m less sad 

and we might even be happy 

if i do read this later

when I’m in my early 40s 

with some kids who fall in 

and out of love just to live a little 

and they need advice 

about love poems and sad songs

I’ll tell them to learn the art

of letting go, but also

to save precious moments-

savor them.

dear person i will love someday,

what do i want?

i want to love you

in the right way.

“what do you want?”

yes. you. the person reading this

reading this shit poetry

you’ve made it this far.

don’t stop now. 

“what do you want?”

whatever “it” is 

i believe in you 

i am proud of you

you are great

you are amazing 

you still have purity 

you are still flawed 

but that only makes you 

unusually human.

i love you. 

a teacher of mine said 

that if a human doesn’t have 

human connection at least 

once per day,

insanity will sink in.

this is my contact. 

i am the first astronaut 

to ever land on your moon. 

my feet is on your moon dust.

i will plant no flags

i will grow an idea 

you are beautiful 

remember that. 

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