“what do you want?
I want a life that’s worth living
without a need to turn around
just to say, well damn.
I could’ve treated you better
If i held you that night
would it have made a difference
probably, a life without regrets-
“don’t regret anything you do”
you tell me with a kiss goodbye
and it’s just one of those nights
when you used to be fifteen and you look back
the sun hits you right in the eye, you’re twenty one
now you get it, I understand now
“what do you want?”
I want a lover that will tell me no
so that I can respect it
no means no means no means no
I want a lover that doesn’t force
hearts to beat where they shouldn’t
I want a lover that counts the stars
backwards by thousands
every night just to say
“shit I almost guessed it right this time”
kiss me slow, kiss me slow
let’s save this moment
like old nintendo games
and we were too broke
to afford a memory card
so we played it every morning
just to beat it in one try
you grow up too quick
you used to be seven and
now you’re twenty one and
you’re still worrying
about if you said something wrong
or if it was offensive
or if you are liked
or if you are loved
“what do you want?”
I want to be like the greats
that came before,
as a matter of fact
I want to be greater
than the greats-
I want to be the best version of myself by following inspiration
into the sea where I can see
into hearts where I’ll make art
into the soul
into the emotions where oceans dry
into teardrops
“what do you want?”
I want poetry to be written for me
when i don’t ask, leave it everywhere
inside my back pockets
and find you there-
read every word
save you into this moment
love me when, love me then
love me back, love me now
love me always
keep me inside your ink
bleeding deep into your pores
regrets as tattoos
leave the words you can’t say in person
leave the words under your tongue
leave the words trapped in your throat
hope finally finds an escape
hope finally makes it home
hope is finally seen
fairy dust, stardust
moon dust, ash
dragonfire, wildfire-
we burn the same
“what do you want?”
I want an alarm for every flower
that’s dying right now
so that I at least have a reason
for why i can’t sleep
“what do you want?”
I want to know why we look
for each other when we’re away
I want to know why we look
for each other when we’re together
I want to know why we look
for reasons to blame each other
i want to know why we look
for reasons as to why we hate each other
i want to know so much about you
even though we are just strangers
“what do you want?”
i want to teach my sons
that a woman’s body is hers
and hers alone, so respect it
I want to teach my daughters
don’t waste your time on any man
who doesn’t deserve your worth
Do you think angels give us signs?
What about God?
Is this a sign?
or is it just time?
Do we all end up sad and alone?
“what do you want”?
slowly, with less poetry
more eye contact, less texting
more voice recognition
talk to me like I’m deaf
sign language
your screams
how come you never listen to me
I hate you. i hate you
love her like she’s blind,
show up everyday with flowers
even if she hates them,
she will love them
“what do you want?”
sometimes i wish i didn’t have to write so much
the thing about love is-
for every sentence, i remember the passionate
fibers put into each letter, if the word love
has four letters
each one had a meaning
L stands for lasting, things don’t last
O stands for one, one mistake
V stands for very
very much on my mind
like sands that fall in an hourglass-
drop by drop, we’re faded
but like all the stories, the book has a last page
The youth remembers E
e for euphoria
e for empty
e for everything
e for empty
e for etchings
e for eternity
we remember the ways
to count backwards
for every star there’s a dark passage
that we can’t return to
and we won’t
“what do you want?”
I want to write it all out
I want to write it all down
I want my thoughts to be
how can I be a better person?
by being a better person
“what do you want?”
I just want this to make sense to someone
Am i making any sense?
jumbled poetry
no rhythm,
no rhymes
no schemes
no iambic pentameter
no lyrics
no style
no structure
just everywhere
like the sound of a heart
removed from a chest
that has been poisoned
because being sick
makes a broken person
feel like an indention
inside of a paragraph
like a doggy eared page
because love makes us feel
this chaos that’s light enough
to drown out the sun
because love makes us crazy
back to the start again
because love makes us contemplate the stars
and how the universe made us into this
because love makes us angry
while simultaneously
forcing us into constant laughter
you do something wrong
learn how to do it right
and in truth, there’s never black and white
its all about compromise
and we always learn things
a little too late,
you can only dwell on it
so i’ve been dwelling
“what do you want?”
i want happiness
i want to be poetry
like a link that ties
my past to a red kite
fly it real high,
electrocute my lies
into soft butterfly truths
turn the ocean into a huge glass of wine
baby, i’ll have two
one for my apologies
and another for not loving you right.
let’s kiss in the rain
to the person i haven’t met yet
and this is a little long
and this may hurt to read
but if you’re reading this
and i’m asleep
right next to you someday
and you realize that i have a strange philosophy
on love, love to me?
every person that i’ve
felt full and empty for,
the people i have fallen for,
i still love them,
all of them
every bit of who i am
shaped by who i should’ve been
every bit of after all this time
always a thousand times
every single dozen of roses
bought from the very
first moment valentine’s day,
was invented,
i will be enough to love you,
even if i get sad from time to time-
and one day, on that day,
when i wake up
and you’re reading this
and I’m less sad
and we might even be happy
if i do read this later
when I’m in my early 40s
with some kids who fall in
and out of love just to live a little
and they need advice
about love poems and sad songs
I’ll tell them to learn the art
of letting go, but also
to save precious moments-
savor them.
dear person i will love someday,
what do i want?
i want to love you
in the right way.
“what do you want?”
yes. you. the person reading this
reading this shit poetry
you’ve made it this far.
don’t stop now.
“what do you want?”
whatever “it” is
i believe in you
i am proud of you
you are great
you are amazing
you still have purity
you are still flawed
but that only makes you
unusually human.
i love you.
a teacher of mine said
that if a human doesn’t have
human connection at least
once per day,
insanity will sink in.
this is my contact.
i am the first astronaut
to ever land on your moon.
my feet is on your moon dust.
i will plant no flags
i will grow an idea
you are beautiful
remember that.
